Any Task Can Be a Mindfulness Practice (Even Cutting the Grass)
And the REAL reason why you should practice.
If you are new here, welcome to Dr. Amber_Writes. I am a clinical psychologist who writes weekly about mental health. I aim to bring you evidenced-based information, with a personal touch. Check out this post to read more about why I started writing in the first place. If you want to hear from me again, subscribe any time.
Several years ago, I began mowing my parents lawn when the chore had started to take a physical toll on them. At first, I was intimidated by the old, loud riding mower. I went slowly and cautiously. But soon, I realized that mowing was sort of fun. Moreover, I found that I loved the solitude of it. At the time, I had recently given birth to my second child. My kids were young, energetic, and constantly needing my attention. Mowing the lawn became a precious couple of hours where I could sit, alone, and not have anyone calling my name or needing me to wipe their butt. I got some fresh air and sunlight. I was accomplishing something productive, so the time was guilt-free. After a few go-rounds on the mower, I realized that these hours became almost meditative for me.
It can be tempting to zone out while mowing, allowing my mind to ruminate about the kids, work, or the laundry list. But I challenge myself to stay out of my head. Instead I focus on noticing the different tiny flowers that make their home among the lawn. The moths and other bugs that go running from my noisy machine (sorry bugs!). Occasionally I see the flash of a vole or mouse. I catch scents from my mother’s gardens and dodge bees beneath the apple trees. I watch the clouds. If the grass has gotten particularly long, I search for patches that have been flattened in the shape of an oval, a sure sign that a deer made their bed there overnight.
Yes, something as mundane as cutting the grass can be a perfect opportunity to practice mindfulness.
What is mindfulness really?
I often encourage my therapy clients to adopt a mindfulness practice, and mindfulness is a core component of many of the strategies I share in my newsletter.
It’s not just me; in any place where there are discussions about mental and physical wellness, you will see recommendations for mindfulness.
However, I think we do a poor job of explaining why and how mindfulness works.
The very simple reason that I personally want my clients to understand and practice mindfulness is this: It will be more challenging to use any strategy for addressing thoughts and feelings if you do not first have the ability to see those thoughts and feelings as separate from yourself.
In psychology, mindfulness is defined as “awareness of one’s internal states and surroundings” which is taught in order “to help people avoid destructive or automatic habits and responses by learning to observe their thoughts, emotions, and other present-moment experiences without judging or reacting to them.” (APA dictionary)
Present moment awareness, without judgment or reaction. Is that challenging for you? If you could become more effective at it, what might change?
Myths about mindfulness
If you are not clear about what mindfulness is, then it will be easy to miss the mark in your mindfulness practice.
Myth: Mindfulness is meditation
When I encourage mindfulness, I am not recommending a lifestyle or a spiritual experience. I am not even suggesting that you take up a meditation practice or go to yoga. Western psychology has co-opted mindfulness from Eastern traditions like meditation and yoga, but those practices are not the only way to learn and practice mindfulness. I think it is fair to say that meditation is always mindfulness, but mindfulness is not always meditation.
Myth: Mindfulness is relaxation
Mindfulness is often recommended as a strategy for anxiety, but this is not because it is relaxing. In fact, mindfulness may feel challenging, frustrating, and uncomfortable at first!
How mindfulness creates space between us and our thoughts
Let’s do an exercise. I want you to think of a recent problem or concern. Take a moment and really look at that challenge. Allow your mind to chatter; to go wherever it naturally goes. Then notice the emotions that are arising. Finally, notice what is happening in your body. Is your heart racing, your muscles clenching, your stomach turning?
Now imagine that you are standing on the shore of a river. The water is moving at a good pace, but you can likely keep your balance. Out in the middle of the river is this problem you are facing. As you wade out towards the problem, you look around and notice that the water contains all the thoughts, feelings, and sensations that you associate with this problem. As you look closer, all those painful thoughts are flowing along with the current. As you notice this, you start to get more afraid. Your thoughts are speed up and your heart is pounding. But the more you panic, the deeper and stronger the current becomes….because of course, the water is made up of your thoughts and feelings.
Relaxing your mind and body is the only way to calm the water around you, but this proves immensely challenging because you keep forgetting that you control this water.
Now, imagine you are back on the shore. You can still see your problem out there, and you can see the thoughts, feelings, and sensations whirling around it. It is still a big problem and the thoughts are still worrisome, and the emotions are still uncomfortable. But you have enough distance that you can decide how you want to broach the problem, without literally drowning in thoughts and feelings. From the shore, it is easy to see that the thoughts and feelings are actually separate from the problem. They float away even.
When we are struggling immensely with painful thoughts and emotions, we are often experiencing those thoughts and feelings as our reality. We are in the river current, being swept along with the fury of the contents of our minds. It feels like drowning.
To remedy this, you could try to control the flow of the river. Good luck with that!
Or you could step out of the water. You could experience all those painful thoughts and feelings from the distance of the shore. They will still hurt, or confuse, or cause envy or impact you in whatever way they might have before. But now, you have enough distance to choose how you want to react. No more getting swept downstream, at the mercy of every thought and urge.
From the shore, you will feel much more equipped to choose a more effective action. This is where you choose a coping strategy, or to walk away from a fight, or to take a prescribed medication, or to call a friend for support. But oftentimes, we are trying to do one of these things from the middle of the river! Not only are you going to be so overwhelmed that it will be challenging to implement a skill, you are less likely to even realize that you have a choice. When you are chest deep in the water, fighting the current seems like the only viable option.
Mindfulness is the bridge to get to the shore. That is the whole point. Thankfully, building that bridge can look many different ways, and the key is to find a way that feels workable to you.
For some people, yoga or meditation will be a powerful way to practice. But I am here to tell you that you can also practice while mowing the lawn.
For mindfulness to work for you, it is important to be practicing consistently and frequently during times when your mind and body are relatively calm. I can not stress this enough. To return to our metaphor, if you wait until you are in the middle of the river to try to implement this skill, you will find yourself discouraged and overwhelmed. You are building a new mental muscle, which means starting with a small challenge and building up to where you want to be.
Just about any task can be done mindfully. Drinking your morning cup of coffee, taking a walk, brushing a pet, dancing, gardening, kicking a ball, folding the laundry…the list is endless.
How to do anything mindfully
Do just one thing. Marsha Linehan, the creator of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), called this being one-mindful.
Being “one-mindful” means engaging fully with the task in front of you, resisting distractions, both external and internal. Predictably, thoughts will arise and it will be tempting to get caught up in your inner dialogue. Instead, you should notice that a thought has caught your attention, and simply redirect your attention back to your task, again and again. This is the muscle you are building through your mindfulness exercise.
Do not react. Mindfulness practices encourage us to adopt a non-judgmental attitude towards whatever we notice. Generally, we consider being “judgmental” to mean that we are responding in a critical manner. But with our mindfulness practice, we want to practice resisting even positive judgments. Fully accepting the present moment means allowing whatever comes up to be there, without labeling it as “good” or “bad.”
That’s it!
Let’s look again at how to practice mindfulness while mowing the lawn.
Get comfortable in the seat. Start the machine and begin to cut. To remain fully in your body, turn your attention to each of your senses. Label what you see, hear, and smell. Notice what sensations you feel, on each part of your body. Alternatively, you can stay in your body while focusing on your breath. As thoughts come in, you might find that one catches your attention and you start to think. Once you notice this, just turn your attention back to one of your senses or back to your breath.
The more you practice, the stronger your mindfulness muscle will become. You will begin to feel more space between yourself and your thoughts, feelings, and urges. With that space, you will find it easier to choose more effective actions.
Meet me in the comments!
I suspect that many people misunderstand the purpose of mindfulness. What do you think?
What has been your experience of trying to learn mindfulness?
If you were skeptical of mindfulness before, does my explanation make you any more open to the idea?
If you have been following along, then you are hopefully building a hefty tool-kit for responding to difficult thoughts and feelings! Here’s some you may have missed:
Disclaimer: This article is a reflection of my personal and professional experiences as a licensed clinical psychologist. It reflects my current and best understanding of these issues. It is intended to be educational and informative, but is not medical, clinical, or therapeutic advice. Following this newsletter does not establish a therapeutic relationship with me. Dr. Amber_Writes, and other written communication by Amber Groomes on Substack, is not a substitute for treatment, diagnosis, or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. I assume no liability for any action taken in reliance on my writing here at Dr. Amber_Writes. Any questions about your personal mental health treatment should be directed to your personal medical professional. You can find a therapist at Psychology Today.
This was the most helpful explanation of mindfulness I have ever read. I have struggled with the mediation/mindfulness distinction. I also loved the river analogy, somehow it is much easier to see the ruminations from shore as you describe. Thank you!
I find vacuuming to be similar to grass cutting - the white noise, the repetition, the satisfaction of a job done - except without mosquitos, wasps and sweat!