Book Club Discussion and Reading Guide for 'Sexism & Sensibility'

It's not too late to start reading along

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Have you started reading Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World?

If not, it is not too late to start! Read along with me and then join our Zoom meeting live on March 13th at 6pm EST with author and psychologist Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein.

Here are some discussion questions for the first half of the book, chapters 1-5. These chapters explore:

• How sexism shows up in our parenting and our relationship with spouses or co-parents

• The stories that young girls are given about what to expect in romantic relationships

• The importance of challenging the gender binary

• Beauty culture and how it objectifies girls and teaches self-objectification

• How media perpetuates gender stereotypes

• How to empower young girls to interact safely on social media

I am listing my guided reading questions here, and I am attaching it in a pdf in case you want to print. Use these questions in any way that is helpful to you, or don’t use them at all! Again, this is just Part 1. I will get the second set of questions out next week.

If you have started reading along, I would love to hear your thoughts and reactions in the comments! I will be there participating. Feel free to join the conversation whenever you begin reading.

Chapter 1: Egalitarian Relationships, Equal Parenting

1. Despite our best intentions, we all likely hold some sexist beliefs or engage in behavior that perpetuates sexism. What implicit bias have you noticed in your own parenting (or other work with youth)? What gendered expectations or reactions have you detected?

2. How do traditional gender stereotypes negatively impact and limit both girls and boys?

3. Do you feel a pressure to “perform” the stereotypical ideals of your gender? How does this show up for you?

Ch. 2: Reconsidering Her Life Script

4. What were you taught to expect in a romantic relationship and/or marriage as a child and teen? How were these ideas reinforced in the media or the broader culture?

5. What do you think about the “benevolent sexism” that is often reinforced in the world of dating? For example, benevolent sexism would be encouraging chivalrous behavior in boys and expecting girls to be naturally compassionate, intuitive, and social.

6. How does Gen Z seem to be dating differently, and in what ways does it challenge sexism and reinforce it?

7. How have you upheld traditional dating stereotypes in your romantic relationship? In what ways have you challenged those norms?

Chapter 3: Stereotypes and the Gender Binary

8. Dr. Finkelstein repeatedly proposes that “by embracing gender as a spectrum, we withdraw the boundaries placed by stereotypes, freeing kids to be themselves.” She quotes research that suggests that kids who are more “psychologically androgynous" tend to be happier, healthier, and more successful. What are your reactions to this?

9. This generation of youth are far more accepting of the gender continuum than previous generations. The best thing we can do as parents is to examine and work through our own biases, and in this area, our kids may be far beyond our own understanding. Reflect on what was new or challenging information for you in this chapter. What might you want to learn more about?

Chapter 4: Beauty is the Beast

10. During identity development, girls are inundated with a “beauty sick culture”. What makes our culture “beauty sick”?

11. The chapter suggests that beauty culture has been repackaged as wellness and self-empowerment. What is your stance on how these things intersect? Can improving one's appearance be empowering and autonomous in a patriarchal, capitalistic society?

12. Girls and women find themselves in a double bind. Seeking beauty and thinness keeps us unwell, but it is rewarded in our society. Rejecting beauty norms comes at a social cost. How do we talk about this to our girls?

Chapter 5: Plugged In

13. Finkelstein writes, “However distressing it may be, the media’s your partner in raising your kids.” What are some concrete ways that parents or other adults can minimize the negative influences of the media that kids consume?

14. We can help build our child’s “media literacy” to help them become critical consumers and active contributors. What are some things you can teach your child about how the media impacts them, to raise their awareness?

15. Finkelstein writes, “helping (tweens and teens) means listening to what empowers them, even though that might look different from what we imagined for them.” What are some strategies that you learned for empowering girls in the face of online harassment and sexting?

Here are the questions in pdf format: S&S reading guide

Disclosure: Dr. Amber_Writes is a newsletter designed to be informational, entertaining, and engaging. It is not therapy. Following this newsletter does not establish a therapeutic relationship with me. Dr. Amber_Writes, and other written communication by Amber Groomes on Substack, is not a substitute for treatment, diagnosis, or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. I assume no liability for any action taken in reliance on my writing here at Dr. Amber_Writes.