Book Club Discussion and Reading Guide Part 2

Please REGISTER to join the discussion on March 13th!

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Have you started reading Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World?

If not, it is not too late to start! Read along with me and then join our Zoom meeting live on March 13th at 6pm EST with author and psychologist

Jo-Ann Finkelstein, PhD

.

If you haven’t had a chance to read, but are interested in learning more, please still feel free to join us. This discussion is FREE but I do ask that you register.

Please go HERE to register and receive the link to join.

Here are some discussion questions for the second half of the book, chapters 6-11. You can also access a pdf copy here. Use these questions in any way that is helpful to you, or don’t use them at all!

If you have started reading along, I would love to hear your thoughts and reactions in the comments! I will be there participating. Feel free to join the conversation whenever you begin reading.

Guided Reading Questions

Chapter 6: From Unentitled to Healthy Entitlement

1. No parent wants their children to be “entitled”, but Finkelstein argues that girls lack “healthy” entitlement. What was your reaction to the idea of healthy entitlement?

2. As a therapist, I recognized many of the symptoms I treat in therapy listed in this chapter. For example, difficulty speaking in public, ruminating about social interactions, taking responsibility for the emotions of others, and perfectionism are often seen with anxiety disorders. Does living in a sexist culture set girls up for mental health difficulties, like anxiety, depression, and eating disorders?

3. This chapter is full of excellent guidance on how to foster the important “voices” of integrity, resistance, ambition, authority, and economic self-sufficiency. It highlighted some of the problematic dynamics that get in the way of girls being able to connect authentically, manage anger and envy, and handle conflict and competition. How do you see examples of these problems in the young girls you know? Or, how have you experienced them yourself?

Chapter 7: Discovering All Geniuses Born Girls

4. As early as kindergarten, girls begin showing deterioration of their own “intellectual self-image.” According to the chapter, what are some of the main influences or dynamics that undermine academic achievement and confidence in girls?

5. The chapter expands on the many short term and long-term benefits of participation in sports. How does participating in sports address some of the other risk factors that are mentioned earlier in the book, such as stereotypes, body image, sexual objectification, and lack of healthy entitlement?

Chapter 8: The Slippery Slope from Gender Bias and Sexism to Sexual Harassment and Assault

6. Research suggests that parents are rarely talking to their girls about how to respond to sexual harassment, despite the fact that 90 percent of teens will experience harassment. What strategies or tips did you learn for talking to girls about harassment, without perpetuating victim-blaming or fear?

Chapter 9. Deconstructing the World of Girls’ Sexuality

7. Finkelstein writes, “But dissociation from desire is part of being a woman. As girls learn to suppress physical hunger, they learn to deny other cravings- for naps, for novelty, for affection, and yes, for the pleasure of sex.” Therefore, making space for girls to learn about their own sexual desire is another way of helping them develop healthy expectations for themselves and their future partners. What is your reaction to the idea of helping girls stay connected to their sense of desire?

8. The chapter talks about the trap of “empty consent”, which is a common occurrence and yet rarely talked about explicitly. How can we help all young people understand how to give and identify enthusiastic consent?

Chapter 10. Giving the Gift of Bodily Autonomy

9. Teaching children about boundaries and consent should start early and be an ongoing conversation that becomes more mature as they approach adolescence. What are some of the common, day-to-day occurrences that lend themselves well to these conversations, that you have noticed in your own parenting (or other work with children)?

10. A theme of the book is that it can be challenging to know when we are making personal choices that reflect our true desires as opposed to choices that will make us desirable or accepted by others. We can help girls examine this for themselves by teaching them to tune into the cultural messages that they receive. Reflect on how you experienced this dilemma in your own adolescence or young adulthood (or perhaps still today!).

Chapter 11. Sex and Pizza

11. The author makes the case that perhaps the most powerful way that parents can influence their child’s healthy sexual development is by being comfortable enough to talk to our children about all aspects of sexuality, including more uncomfortable topics like sexual pleasure, masturbation, and pornography. Reflect on your own comfort levels with these concepts. Where would you like to feel more comfortable? What additional knowledge do you need?

I really loved this book; it’s given me a lot to think about the last few weeks. I am looking forward to a lively discussion! Please do not forget to register to get the link!

Disclosure: Dr. Amber_Writes is a newsletter designed to be informational, entertaining, and engaging. It is not therapy. Following this newsletter does not establish a therapeutic relationship with me. Dr. Amber_Writes, and other written communication by Amber Groomes on Substack, is not a substitute for treatment, diagnosis, or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. I assume no liability for any action taken in reliance on my writing here at Dr. Amber_Writes.