"Crash Your Therapist's Book Club"...Take Two!
Come read along with me.
If you have been paying attention, you may recall that several weeks ago I dramatically announced the “Crash Your Therapist’s Book Club.” Then, I never spoke a word of it again. This is because I only had like 6 subscribers at the time, I was impulsive, and had not thought through what format this book club would actually take. I did not forget about the idea, I was just a bit frozen by the need to figure out the details. So naturally, I ignored it and hoped it would go away while experiencing a niggle of discomfort every time I posted because I knew I was avoiding something. As one does.
So anyway, I am back to revive the book club that never was! I have over TEN TIMES as many subscribers now and I am hoping that a couple of you will join me in reading Emotional Inheritance: A Therapist, Her Patients, and the Legacy of Trauma by Dr. Galit Atlas.
First, a little back story as to why this book is meaningful to me and why I am re-reading it now.
As I disclosed recently, my husband has been fighting a battle against alcohol addiction, which has turned our lives upside down. He is currently in recovery. If you missed it, you can read a little more about it here.
My maternal grandmother’s family was devastated by alcoholism. She was one of seven children, and four of her siblings were alcoholics. Although she was a profoundly private person, the impact of her experiences was evident in how she lived her life and parented her children. Growing up with alcoholic aunts, uncles, and cousins left its mark on my mother, who like her own mother, felt an urgency to protect her children from a future addiction.
There have been moments during the last few years that I have lamented that this happened to me. How could alcohol be ruining MY life? I was warned from a young age. I was not raised in a home with alcohol. How did this happen?
Honestly though, thanks to my training in psychology and trauma, these moments of “why me” were actually short-lived. Because I remembered that, when it comes to trauma, we do not simply learn from the lessons of our parents and grandparents. More often, we engage in repetition; repeating patterns again and again, seeking a different outcome, an understanding, a peace. We inherit the impact of the original trauma as it ripples through the beliefs, behaviors, and genes of the family. There are many theories as to why trauma functions this way, and the science of the brain and genetics continues to shed new light.
This is the topic of Emotional Inheritance. This book is stunning. I am re-reading it as part of my memoir research and I invite you to read along with me.
It is well accepted that trauma has a lasting impact, however, Dr. Atlas takes this assertion further by positing that we are unconsciously re-enacting traumatic events from the past that we may not have any conscious awareness of. Even if we were not told about an ancestor’s traumatic loss or abusive situation, it may be “known” to us on an unconscious level; showing itself in our phobias, nightmares, and relational patterns. Dr. Atlas attributes this to the process of epigenetics, the heritability of changes to our biology that are caused by external events, and then passed down to future generations via changes on the genetic level.
On the surface, epigenetics can sound a little…woo-woo? But Dr. Atlas reviews the science and research to support this deeper understanding of how trauma becomes intergenerational. She teaches us using anecdotes from her own life and the lives of her patients. It is fascinating and affirming for anyone who may be wondering, why me?
I loved how this book challenged me to expand my understanding of the human mind. That being said, I like to incorporate new ideas by doing my own research as well and asking critical questions. This book is grounded in psychodynamic theory, which is not the theory that most heavily informs my clinical practice. As I re-read, I will share more of my questions and critiques about the anecdotes in the book.
This post will serve as a forum for our “book club.” I will hang out in the comments to share what stands out to me as I read, and to respond to your contributions. Since my readership is still pretty tiny, maybe the post will end up being crickets and tumbleweeds. Who knows? But I am re-reading this amazing book either way! And I truly think this book could inspire a lively conversation.
Let me know if you have read Emotional Inheritance, or intend to join me in reading! I am thinking this will be my “book club” book for the months of March and April.
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Has anyone started reading along yet? If you have not begun, or have only read the introduction, it may be interesting to for you to pause and think about what you already know and believe to be true about the ways that we are impacted by the experiences of our parents and grandparents. There have been so many advances in our understanding of trauma, and it has become much more common knowledge, so I imagine that many of us already have awareness about some of the more apparent ways that we inherit these impacts.
Here are some of my thoughts on the introduction and first two chapters of part 1 on "Our Grandparents."
*I was reminded how complex the theory of epigenetics actually is. I began looking a bit into some of the original research that Atlas references, specifically the studies by Rachel Yehuda (full text of one is available here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6127768/). Maybe it's just me, but I find it fascinating and bit complicated! I am going to keep digging deeper.
*Can epigenetics really explain what we see in our actual thoughts, feelings, and behaviors...so much so that we may "dream their memories?"
*I would love to hear other people's reflections on Eve in Chapter 1. The author does not begin with a softball here, I think this story really challenges us to expand our understanding of subtle and hidden the traumatic impact can be.
* I was so moved by the explanation of the "dead mother" and how this symbolizes not just actual loss, but the impact of maternal depression and PTSD on a mother.
**TRIGGER WARNING for Chapter 2: Childhood sexual abuse**
*I appreciated the reminder that traumatic experiences are re-processed at different developmental stages throughout our lives, and we will make new meaning (both troubling and enlightening meanings) as we mature. This happens for all traumatic experiences in my opinion, not just sexual abuse.
*I had no idea the original Little Red Riding Hood was so horrifying, but even in it's re-imagined and sanitized version it was pretty strange and ominous, so I guess I should not be surprised! But also noticing that tradition of using story telling to teach lessons and give warnings to children, and how those stories become apart of the language of the broader culture, and the language of our individual psychology. Fascinating.
One of my favourite books on intergenerational stories! I was highlighting it like mad the first time I read it. You are in for a treat 📚