What I Hope My Children Know
Parenting is full of "ands"
If you are new here, welcome to Dr. Amber_Writes. I am a clinical psychologist who writes weekly about mental health. I aim to bring you evidenced-based information, with a personal touch. Check out this post to read more about why I started writing in the first place. If you want to hear from me again, subscribe any time.
The other day, after a moment of parenting frustration, my 5-year-old asked, “Mom, do you love me?”
I answered, “I do, I love you so much.” But I knew why she was asking.
“When you are mad at me, I think you don’t love me.”
I explain to her again, “Nothing can make my love for you go away. Sometimes I do feel angry, but that feeling will come and go. My love for you stays forever.”
We will make this repair as many times as we need too. I know it is hard for her to understand, that two seemingly contradictory things can be true at the same time.
It is a truth that has become one of my favorite parts of parenting.
I hope that my children know that,
I may be exhausted each morning when I say goodbye to you at school drop-off and I am always excited to pick you up and bring you back home.
I complained about the dozens of tiny paw patrol toys that constantly littered our living room floor for years and I cried the day that you decided that you were ready to give those toys away.
It’s hard to watch you grow another year older and every age is my favorite age
I will always encourage you to sleep in your own bed and my favorite part of the day is falling asleep cuddling next to you.
Your dad and I absolutely need a date night and I will tell you a secret…we spend at least half that time talking about you.
I’ve never cared about sports a day in my life and I love every minute of watching you on the field.
The day to day tasks of parenting are tedious and caring for you is my greatest purpose.
I am forgetful, distracted, my brain full of so many things and you are always top of mind.
When I was younger, I thought that one day I would travel the world. And somehow, I can’t imagine a more exciting adventure than getting to know you, again and again.
I will be a positively imperfect mother and I believe that is the most perfect gift I have to give. There’s no other way, I fear.
What are your parenting “ands”? Those moments where two things that seem so contradictory are forced to exist right alongside one another, perfectly imperfect? I would love to hear them in the comments.
If you enjoyed this post, you might enjoy these posts from the archive:
Disclosure: Dr. Amber_Writes is a newsletter designed to be informational, entertaining, and engaging. It is not therapy. Following this newsletter does not establish a therapeutic relationship with me. Dr. Amber_Writes, and other written communication by Amber Groomes on Substack, is not a substitute for treatment, diagnosis, or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. I assume no liability for any action taken in reliance on my writing here at Dr. Amber_Writes.
Love this: “I explain to her again, “Nothing can make my love for you go away. Sometimes I do feel angry, but that feeling will come and go. My love for you stays forever.”
Beautiful Amber ❤