Why Adults Are Crying at 'Inside Out 2'

And that is ok, because all emotions are welcome

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Image from Disney+

Children’s movies have really come a long way y'all. My favorite movie as a child was Little Mermaid, in which a teenage mermaid is coerced into giving up her voice, her fins, and her family in order to pursue a man she’s never met. The happy ending is that…it works! And she marries a man she hardly knows. Sigh. If I was crying at a Disney movie as a kid, it was probably because someone’s parent died. 

I am happy to see that the adult survivors of that era of Disney magic are now creating some films that are genuinely educational, validating, and psychologically nuanced. I recently took my children to see Inside Out 2 and like many people, I found myself tearing up at many moments throughout the film. I am going to do my best to recap some of my favorite takeaways. This article is full of spoilers, so if you have not seen it yet, maybe save this one to read later (and go read my thoughts on another great kid’s movie, Orion and the Dark).

In my therapy practice, over 50% of my caseload has an anxiety disorder; therefore, I spend a lot of time talking to folks about fear, phobias, panic, and anxious anticipation. So believe me when I say, Inside Out 2 gifted us with an excellent illustration of anxiety (pictured below, with a face that only a mother could love). 

Image from Pixar Post.

The character of Anxiety was so authentic that many people will likely feel validated by the depiction. Anxiety and panic can be isolating experiences; sufferers can feel “crazy” because they have enough insight to realize that their feelings and reactions are objectively disproportionate. One part of them is terrified, but oftentimes, there is another part that realizes that the non-anxious people around them are saying, “What’s the big deal?”

I love that children (and adults) with anxiety now have this illustration of anxiety and all its internal chaos to share with their loved ones, in hopes of helping other people better understand their experience.

For me, the most important message of both Inside Out movies is essentially: All emotions play important roles, and trying to eliminate an emotion will make you feel worse in the long run.  I’ve always found this to be a rather sophisticated understanding of emotional well-being. It certainly was the not the message that I received about emotions growing up. It is a critical component of the therapy that I provide as a psychologist, and frankly, it can be a challenging concept to accept.

To review, in the first Inside Out movie, Sadness is initially seen to be a threat to Riley’s well-being and an inconvenience that gets in the way of the fun. Joy tries to literally put Sadness in a box, repeatedly instructing her not to touch any of Riley’s memories. However, when Riley moves to a new town, leaving her house, school, and beloved hockey team, feeling a bit of sadness becomes inevitable. The more Joy tries to protect Riley from Sadness, the more confused, angry, and isolated Riley becomes.

In a pivotal scene, we watch Sadness comfort the character of Bing-Bong, by listening, validating and holding him as he cries. After a few moments, Bing-Bong gets up and says “I’m Ok now.” Joy is perplexed that Sadness could actually support Bing-Bong and help him resume the journey. We see the wheels start to turn as Joy realizes that perhaps Sadness has something to offer after all. Sure enough, when Riley is allowed to feel her sadness (which was valid from the beginning) she is able to communicate and connect with her parents, who could then support her effectively. 

Or at least, this was my interpretation of the movie. My mother shared that the takeaway message of the first movie was, “If sadness had just stopped touching everything, none of the bad stuff would have happened.” Sorry Mom, we must agree to disagree! 

In Inside Out 2, we see that Joy now recognizes the importance of sadness, even saying at one point “Remember Sadness, wherever I go, you go too.” And yet, she has not completely learned her lesson about toxic positivity! We watch as Joy gathers all of Riley’s uncomfortable and painful memories at the end of each day and tosses them into the abyss of long term memory, saying “We keep the best and toss the rest!”

This is where we are introduced to the concept of “sense of self.”  We watch as Riley’s various memories from the day come together to create “beliefs” which then culminate in a basic conclusion about what kind of person Riley considers herself to be. This is also where I started to really nerd out; wanting to tap my son on the shoulder and whisper “I know all about core beliefs! I talk about those at work all the time!” I refrained, but only because we were in the theater. 

Initially, Riley’s thoughts culminate in a belief of “I am a good person.” Painfully, as anxiety takes over and transforms Riley’s thoughts, interpretations, emotions, and behavior, her core beliefs about herself begin to shift. Personally, the most emotional part of the movie for me was when we hear Riley vocalize her new belief about herself, “I’m not good enough.” Cue the waterworks.

What Inside Out 2 Gets Right About Anxiety 

Our anxiety is an attempt to protect ourselves: The character of Anxiety shares that her goal is to help Riley think about and prepare for the future. She is an expert at anticipating every disastrous possibility and calls upon Riley’s imagination to help her catastrophize. I often help clients see how their anxious part is attempting to protect them, and perhaps it was even an effective strategy at one point in their lives. This helps create self-compassion, instead of frustration, guilt, or embarrassment. 

Anxiety may have good intentions, and if there was an actual threat, it would be effective. Unfortunately in anxiety disorders, we end up wasting copious amounts of time and energy trying to solve problems that we do not have yet (and probably never will). The emotional, social, and physical toll of doing anxiety’s bidding is significant.

Anxiety can make us act in ways that we regret: Anxiety affects our behavior. I loved that the film so clearly demonstrates how anxiety can cause us to behave in ways that are deeply incongruent with our own values. We see Riley ditch her best friends, change her behavior to fit in with the older kids, and sneak into the coach’s office. How many adults might look at a kid like Riley, see the pattern of disrespectful behavior, and not realize that this is a kid experiencing overwhelming anxiety about a big upcoming change? 

I liked that the writers chose to depict these “acting out behaviors”, alongside the more predictable anxious behaviors, such as ruminating at night and panicking during a sports game. Many of us associate our anxiety with avoidance, perfectionism, and people-pleasing; even still, these behaviors may not be consistent with your values. For example, I often talk with clients about how their anxious behavior is keeping them from engaging fully in relationships or pursuing meaningful work. In the throes of anxiety, we are often inadvertently self-focused, at the expense of the people and things we care the most about. 

Living with anxiety can impact our beliefs about ourselves: As I noted above, despite how much Anxiety wants to help, it still negatively impacts Riley’s sense of self. Riley’s self-concept shifted from “I’m a good person” to “I’m not good enough.” Chronic anxiety can also impact our beliefs about other people (e.g., People are untrustworthy, People will take advantage of me) and the world (e.g., The world is unsafe). 

Making space for anxious feelings is part of recovery: Anxiety is a terribly uncomfortable emotion, so we tend to develop various strategies to make that emotion go away; for example, avoidance, reassurance-seeking, excessive planning…the list is endless. These strategies tend to work in the short-term, but they reinforce the anxious thoughts and ultimately strengthen anxiety in the long-term. Overcoming anxiety requires us to interrupt this cycle. Anxiety treatment teaches you to allow anxious feelings to come and go without trying to avoid or eliminate them. The more you can do this, the more confident you will become in anxiety-provoking situations (read more about what this looks like in treatment in my article Exposure Therapy: The Only Way Out, Is Through.)

Inside Out 2 illustrates this idea in a darling way. At the end of the film, after Anxiety has wreaked havoc and the other emotions work together to resume control, we see that Anxiety has not been kicked out, captured, or destroyed. The team of emotions have found ways to manage Anxiety’s intensity and redirect her back to realistic problem-solving in the here and now. Anxiety no longer gets to call all the shots, but she still has her place. Perfect.

There were many layers to this film. My observations focus on how the story depicted Anxiety, and the importance of practicing acceptance of all our emotions, because that is what stood out to me based on the flavor of therapy work I do. Also, since I was watching the film in the theater with my kids, my note-taking ability was compromised. These were only the thoughts that I was able to collect while managing snacks, bathroom breaks, and spills. I know that many people are sharing their thoughts on the movie as well, and I look forward to reading some other perspectives!

If you saw Inside Out 2, I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

What were some of your favorite moments?

Was anxiety accurately depicted?

Anything you didn’t like?

Should I dress up like Anxiety for Halloween this year?

As always, if you enjoyed this post please share it with others. I see every ‘like’, share, and comment and it means so much to me.

If you enjoyed my thoughts on anxiety, you might like this article too:

Disclosure: Dr. Amber_Writes is a newsletter designed to be informational, entertaining, and engaging. It is not therapy. Following this newsletter does not establish a therapeutic relationship with me. Dr. Amber_Writes, and other written communication by Amber Groomes on Substack, is not a substitute for treatment, diagnosis, or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. I assume no liability for any action taken in reliance on my writing here at Dr. Amber_Writes.