So true. We do funerals on our lunch breaks now and it infuriated me at the last one I went to. Death snuck up on me twice last year when my father in law made it out of surgery only to wake up and die. Then my own father almost died within 6 months after that. The year before that I buried my cat, the one who snuggled with me and never left my lap while I was the sickest. The year before that, we buried the dog my boys grew up with in the spring and by fall my baby flew the nest. If grief were an ocean, I’ve had my share of it as well these past 3 years but Joy has come with my breaks in between illness relapses even though my body is still experiencing uncomfortable things going on in it on a daily basis. People don’t know what to do with alive sick people like they don’t know how to deal with old people and death. I’ve got all of the right theological answers about death in my head and I’m still not sure it has settled my fear of dying or facing the death of my loved ones. I used the word death in my Substack name. Probably a death sentence for its popularity, but I’ve never won any of those contests anyway. Getting all of the sick death thoughts out of my head and into my writing has been one of the healthiest things I’ve ever done. I’m thankful for it.
I love this line, Amber: "my experiences in psychotherapy as both a therapist and a client have shown me that emotions are not dangerous or factual." It can be so freeing when we realize that emotions are not dangerous or "fixed"...it's a relief of sorts. How's your week starting? Happy Monday to you! :) -Kay
Thank you for reading!
Thanks so much for sharing. Beautifully written tribute. Your legacy of Mom being a soft place to land is worth more than gold! Big hugs to you.
So true. We do funerals on our lunch breaks now and it infuriated me at the last one I went to. Death snuck up on me twice last year when my father in law made it out of surgery only to wake up and die. Then my own father almost died within 6 months after that. The year before that I buried my cat, the one who snuggled with me and never left my lap while I was the sickest. The year before that, we buried the dog my boys grew up with in the spring and by fall my baby flew the nest. If grief were an ocean, I’ve had my share of it as well these past 3 years but Joy has come with my breaks in between illness relapses even though my body is still experiencing uncomfortable things going on in it on a daily basis. People don’t know what to do with alive sick people like they don’t know how to deal with old people and death. I’ve got all of the right theological answers about death in my head and I’m still not sure it has settled my fear of dying or facing the death of my loved ones. I used the word death in my Substack name. Probably a death sentence for its popularity, but I’ve never won any of those contests anyway. Getting all of the sick death thoughts out of my head and into my writing has been one of the healthiest things I’ve ever done. I’m thankful for it.
I love this line, Amber: "my experiences in psychotherapy as both a therapist and a client have shown me that emotions are not dangerous or factual." It can be so freeing when we realize that emotions are not dangerous or "fixed"...it's a relief of sorts. How's your week starting? Happy Monday to you! :) -Kay