Dr. Amber's Memoir Round-Up

A psychologist shares 15 unforgettable memoirs

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Anyone interested in a memoir round-up?

This week, I thought I would share with you a list of some of the memoirs I have read in the past 2-3 years, with a short synopsis of each. As I wrote about here, I have reconnected with my childhood love of devouring books, and although I read from many genres, memoirs are my favorite.

If I am going through something challenging, you can bet that I am looking for personal stories from others who have survived similar hardships. I also like to read memoirs on topics that are relevant to my therapy clients, partly to educate myself and partly because, I never recommend a book to a client that I have not read myself.

Before we get started, a few reminders:

1. I have no expertise in reviewing books! The following thoughts are simply my opinion.

2. I enjoyed every book on this list but its important to know that I enjoy almost every memoir I read (with one very famous exception…anyone curious to know the one memoir I would not recommend?) I love human stories, and I find it hard to read them with an eye towards critique. Objectively, I know some of these are more well-written than others. I still found them all to be stories worth reading.

3. I read almost all of these within the last three years, and I did my best giving a quick synopsis based on my recollection. I may have missed some content warnings.

4. I realize my list of authors here is pretty homogenous. I am intentionally trying to read more memoirs by people of color and LGBTQ+ authors. I also was surprised to see that I have read almost no memoirs by cis-male authors.

I hope that you will find some new authors here that you may not be familiar with. If you have memoir recommendations for me, please share!

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo

In What My Bones Know, Foo tells the story of how she was diagnosed with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of childhood abuse and abandonment. Complex PTSD refers to a constellation of symptoms that develop in response to traumatic experiences that occur repeatedly over a long stretch of time. The trauma is often abuse that occurs in relationships, such as a child abuse. This may be the first memoir that refers to Complex PTSD by name and it does an excellent job of describing the emotional, cognitive, and relational effects of this type of trauma. Foo recounts her experience with a journalistic level of depth and research, making this book not only powerful but also educational. If you are a writer, you may also enjoy Stephanie Foo’s interview on Write-Minded! Content Warnings: Child physical and emotional abuse and neglect

End of the Hour: A Therapist’s Memoir by Meghan Riordan Jarvis

Meghan Riordan Jarvis is a therapist that specializes in the treatment of trauma. When she loses both her parents in close succession, she finds herself suffering not only with profound grief, but with reignited symptoms of a trauma she experienced in childhood. As a therapist who is also writing a memoir, I was eager to see how the author would share her story. I appreciated the her candor, and the illustration of how complicated grief and trauma can be. Therapists are human too, and trauma does not discriminate. Content Warning: Grief and Loss

The Man Who Could Move Clouds by Ingrid Rojas Contreras

I found this book after hearing the author’s interview on the podcast Write-Minded, where she spoke about her dislike for the term “magical realism.” Magical realism refers to realistic stories that include elements of magic and supernatural phenomena, with the implication that these elements are fantastical. The author highlights the cultural bias in this assumption, and explains that to her family, these stories are simply truth. In her book, Rojas Contreras introduces us to her grandfather, a renowned curandero with the power to heal, and her mother, who also shares these gifts. She takes us along on a journey back to her home country of Colombia, where she reckons with her own understanding and experience of her family’s traumas and gifts, explored amid the history of her country’s folklore and political violence. I gotta say, I loved this book. 

Two Women Walk Into a Bar by Cheryl Strayed

Cheryl Strayed is my favorite author, so I was thrilled to see that she had published this short story. At only 30 pages, it left me wanting more only because I love her writing so much. In this piece, Strayed reflects on her complicated relationship with her dying mother-in-law. I love how Strayed has the ability to perfectly convey the nuances of painful and even messy relationships, without judgment or harshness. This brief book made me laugh and cry, all in one sitting. (Substack fans: Cheryl is on substack at Cheryl Strayed’s Dear Sugar) Trigger warning: Grief and loss

Know My Name by Chanel Miller

It took me far too long to finally read this profound story, and I am so glad I did. I think this book is one of the most important of our generation. Miller’s story of sexual assault, and its gross mishandling by the media and the justice system, is well-known at this point. And unfortunately, it is a story that is uncommon. What is rare though, is Miller’s detailed and emotional first hand account. Miller is a talented writer, and she has done a great service by so eloquently sharing the truth. Content warning: Sexual assault and….patriarchy? It feels like that applies as a trigger in this case.

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

When I first heard the title of this book, I admit I had some automatic judgments. I dismissed the book before learning more about it, because the title seemed “click-baity” and I was not that familiar with the author. Later, I stumbled upon McCurdy’s interview with Glennon Doyle on the podcast We Can Do Hard Things, and was quickly captivated by McCurdy’s story. Although her experience of being a child actress is pretty unique, I imagine that many people will resonate with her experiences of abuse and exploitation by the people who were supposed to protect her. This is a heart wrenching story at times, but with a realistic depiction of recovery from childhood abuse. I imagine that McCurdy has helped countless other survivors by sharing her story. Content warning: Child abuse and exploitation, Eating Disorders

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

As I (slowly) work on my own memoir, I am also learning a bit about the craft of memoir and trying to expose myself to diverse writing styles and formats. In the Dream House is frequently referenced as a memoir that stretches the conventions of the genre. It is literary with a capital L, so will read a bit differently than many of the authors on this list. Despite its less conventional style, the content still packs an emotional punch. Machado challenges traditional assumptions of what domestic violence looks like by describing emotional and psychological abuse in a same-sex relationship. Content Warning: Domestic Violence

The Year of the Horses by Courtney Maum

Courtney Maum tells the story of how reconnecting with her childhood love of horses and horseback riding helped her heal from depression and burnout as a mother, writer, and spouse. Maum described struggling with identity and purpose as she tried to balance early motherhood and her career, a struggle that will resonate with many readers. As should be clear by now, I love a story that explores the healing powers of animals and nature. For my writer-readers, Courtney Maum is also on substack at Before and After the Book Deal.

Loved and Wanted by Christa Parravani

I actually read this memoir more than a couple years ago, but it stuck with me, and feels more socially and culturally relevant than ever. Parravani is a college professor at a university in West Virginia, and she shares the story of how she found herself seeking an abortion that ultimately, was not accessible to her. This is an experience that simply is not given much voice or visibility, and never with compassion and a genuine desire to understand. I think that this true story has much to teach those on both sides of the abortion debate. Content Warning: Abortion

A Living Remedy: A Memoir by Nicole Chung

A Living Remedy: A Memoir is Chung’s follow-up to her first memoir, All You Can Ever Know, about her experience as a Korean child adopted by white American parents and raised in a sheltered town in Oregon. Chung’s first memoir was impactful for me in learning about the complexities of interracial and international adoption, and the psychological and social impact on adoptees. In her second memoir, Chung focuses on her relationship with her aging and ailing parents, the grief of watching her parents struggle to make ends meet as working class Americans, and the lasting impacts of those struggles on her parents’ physical well-being. This book is also the first memoir that I read that took place partly during the Covid-19 epidemic, which is surreal in it’s own right. As a first generation college student I also lived with the tension of straddling two socioeconomic realities and this book deeply resonated with me. Content Warning: Grief and loss, Cancer

Alex and Me: How a Scientist and a Parrot Discovered a Hidden World of Animal Intelligence and Formed a Deep Bond in the Process by Irene M. Pepperberg

I love stories that explore the human-animal bond. Alex and Me is about the extraordinary African Grey parrot, Alex, who demonstrated that not only can parrots acquire speech, they can use it to convey concepts that were previously thought to only be the domain of human intellect. I also enjoyed the story of Pepperberg’s evolution as a scientist and the ways that she fought to have her research taken seriously. Content Warning: Pet death

This Is Not A Pity Memoir by Abi Morgan

This was a truly remarkable story. Abi Morgan is a screenplay writer who lived with her longtime partner and their two adolescent children. Tragically, Morgan’s husband becomes suddenly, mysteriously, and gravely ill. Although he survives, he experiences profound neurological damage that changes his life forever. He also experiences a rare phenomena in which he no longer recognizes Morgan, his partner for over two decades. This may sound like the makings of a horror novel, but ultimately it is a love story. Content Warning: Medical trauma, Cancer

Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me From Myself by Julie Barton

When I am going through something painful, I crave stories about other people who have experienced something similar (even if it means that the dog dies in the end). So after the loss of my soul-dog, Buster, I went looking for stories that validated my grief. Dog Medicine is the story of the author’s descent into a debilitating bout of depression, and how raising a puppy helped her heal. Content Warning: Sibling abuse, Pet Death

A Place For Us: A Memoir by Brandon J. Wolf

Brandon Wolf survived the mass shooting that took place at the Pulse Nightclub in 2016. His best friends did not. Wolf’s memoir encompasses this tragedy, but it is about so much more than that one night of horrific violence. He shares a coming-of-age story about what it is like growing up gay and biracial in a sheltered and often hateful community. Content Warning: Gun violence, LGBTQ discrimination…let’s add patriarchy here as well.

The Night Parade: A Speculative Memoir by Jami Nakamura Lin

I found this book via the Memoir Land interview with the author. Honestly, the interview describes this unique and beautiful book much more effectively than I ever could, so I highly recommend giving it a read! When asked to describe her memoir, Nakamura Lin writes, “The Night Parade is an illustrated speculative memoir that uses yо̄kai and other Japanese, Taiwanese, and Okinawan spirits and creatures of legend to interrogate my father’s death and my bipolar disorder. Along the way I talk about motherhood, miscarriage, Japanese American incarceration, and other intergenerational ghosts, ultimately asking, How do we learn to live with the things that haunt us?” The description sold me, and I am so glad it did! Content Warning: Death and Loss

Whew! This is not all the books I had on my metaphorical bookshelf, but its enough for now! Let me know if you would like a part 2!

I would love to meet you in the comments to chat more about memoirs. Have you read any on the list? Will you add any of these to your TBR list? Have other recommendations for me?

As always, if you enjoyed this post please share it with others. I see every ‘like’, share, and comment and it means so much to me.

Disclosure: Dr. Amber_Writes is a newsletter designed to be informational, entertaining, and engaging. It is not therapy. Following this newsletter does not establish a therapeutic relationship with me. Dr. Amber_Writes, and other written communication by Amber Groomes on Substack, is not a substitute for treatment, diagnosis, or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. I assume no liability for any action taken in reliance on my writing here at Dr. Amber_Writes.