16 Comments
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Heide's avatar

Thank you for writing and sharing. My dad died suddenly in November. My mom was the same as your mom. So quick to go through his things and move the furniture. I couldn’t process it. I was jet lagged and shocked and couldn’t make real decisions so immediately. Two months later and I’m back in my own home and still processing. Sending peace to you as you do the same.

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you so much for sharing. Everyone reacts differently, I know people who did not touch their loved ones items for years. Sending you strength as you continue to process.

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Victoria's avatar

Heartfelt condolences, Amber. Can I sit alongside you in the Messy Middle for a while...I know it well because we slipped into it in 2015 and I've made it my home.

I'll just sit, side-hug and listen.

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you Victoria, presence and a listening ear is such a gift isn't it?

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Katie Rincon's avatar

Thank you for sharing. I think our best writing comes when we don’t over think it. My mom died unexpectedly at the end of July and I understood every emotion you described. Sometimes I think pain must be witnessed to heal.

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you for reading and stopping to share. I am sorry you are in the thick of grief as well. I agree, there is a reason so many of us are moved to write about grief.

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Mary Austin (she/her)'s avatar

Blessings as you remember him. Your reflection made me think about how I’ve been sleeping in some of my dad’s old shirts, and there’s a weird little wave of grief each time one wears out. Take care in this odd anniversary time.

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Kay M.'s avatar

This is such a great line: "Not infrequently, I reach for a cup of coffee that she’s already tidied up; it’s dumped, rinsed, and sitting in the strainer."

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you 😊

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Kay M.'s avatar

My pleasure. I see that you are a mom and clin psych, too, Amber! (I'm still in school but also a mama)...looking forward to staying connected with you! :)

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Yes! I have my eyes peeled for all the psychologists on here!

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Kay M.'s avatar

Haha! Yes, me too, though I’ve only found a few! I’m sure there are many more and I haven’t come across them yet... glad we connected, Amber! ✨

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Christine Vaughan Davies's avatar

What a beautiful portrait of your father and the different ways grief shows up in people. Thanks for sharing these details of his and your life and giving us a sense of who he was and how you continue to honor him.

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you so much reading. My dad was a character and it means a lot to know that maybe others can still get to experience a bit of him through my writing.

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Kaitlyn Elizabeth's avatar

🥹So beautiful. Even though I don’t know all the details, I was visualizing it. Thank you for sharing this piece of your story and the pieces of him.

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you for taking a moment to visualize with me.

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