11 Comments

The current models of bereavement really feel incomplete to me as well. I agree that guilt comes up so often in people’s processing of their loss and it often complicates their experience. I love how adding self compassion can be antidote to their feelings of guilt (and often shame). As usual, thanks for a beautiful personal story to highlight this way of supporting ourselves and others. I’m sorry about your Dad, too 🩵 - Lindsey

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Thank you Lindsey. I am trying to learn more about the clinical side of bereavement. I used to be really scared of working with grief in therapy, but life has given me some natural exposure therapy ;) and now my therapist side wants to know all the things!

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Beautifully written and such helpful insights. I might make this required reading for my chaplaincy students!

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Thank you Amber. I appreciate the way you've shared the statements so that we can better understand our grief and feel more connected to the common humanity of it all. You've made the three components of Self-compassion (Mindfulness, Self-Kindness, and Common Humanity) more relatable and meaningful.

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As always, thank you for supporting my writing Victoria! I'm glad that my personal example helped to illustrate the concepts, that is definitely the goal.

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Thank you for sharing, Amber. I tend to compartmentalize my feelings of grief for my mom, but this approach feels realistic and definitely more positive & helpful.

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I am sorry for your loss Amber.

Your writing is very clear and concise, and it helps me revisit core ideas, whether from an ACT or CFT perspective. I'll keep reading your future articles.

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Thanks Aleks! I am glad the writing is clear. I love ACT and want to write more about some of the less well-known ideas, like self as concept...but I am struggling a bit with how to teach that one in an easily digestible article. But I like the challenge!

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Thanks for this excellent essay Amber. You are right there isn’t enough information coming out about guilt and grief, yet the crossroads of this difficult situation can have huge ripple effects.

I appreciate the specific steps you laid out here, they will help many people. Having recently sat with my Mom as she passed I attest to having experienced every one of them.

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Thank you for this beautiful essay, I hope it helped you as much to write it as it may help your readers. As someone who has worked in the funeral industry and also had my fair share of bereavements now (in my mid-50s) I do see a lot of guilt and second guessing few people can name or manage. My condolences on your Dad’s death. That is a hard situation.

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Beautiful piece, Dr. Amber!!

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