19 Comments
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Christine Vaughan Davies's avatar

My heart stopped for a second when I saw your post's title in my email inbox. Beyond terrifying. I'm also incredibly impressed with your son. I can't guarantee my 7 and 9 year old sons would respond the same way, so this is a somber reminder to have another conversation with them.

Unfortunately in the hospital, I have seen way too many children (and adults) die from gun violence. I joined this organization a few years back because I neeeded to do something with my sense of helplessness - https://momsdemandaction.org/

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

I hope no one jumped to the worst conclusion based on the title! I tried to use the byline to provide reassurance that everyone was safe! I am sure you have seen so much at the hospital. My husband said he heard an NPR report this morning where they interviewed an ER doctor I believe, about the number of kids that come through the ER with firearm accidents. I also joined Moms Demand Action a few years back, thank you for the reminder! I definitely need to do more, to hopefully feel a little less helpless.

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Christine Vaughan Davies's avatar

Oh no, I thought it was a great hook! I didn't go to worst conclusion - finding the gun alone is scary enough!

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Gosh, this is horrifying. And makes me very glad to live in a country with much tighter gun controls. Looking from a distance, the gun culture in the US seems utterly insane. Thanks for sharing your message.

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

It’s an incredibly divisive and emotional discussion in the states, which is one reason why I bet this won’t get shared much. As a parent, it feels like a really hopeless battle.

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

That's sad to hear Amber and yes, must be terrifying as a parent with all the school shootings that hit the headlines. And yes, I have noticed that anytime I share something that leans towards the political, it tends to get less feedback on here. Important to speak it nevertheless...

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Kaitlyn Elizabeth's avatar

The nausea hits like a ton of bricks. So glad your kiddo has that trust and faith in your relationship to come straight to you, and to your point, even kids who have that, may also have curious parts that could override that instinct. I hate that this is a conversation I will soon have to have with my son.

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Right. The study I quoted put a group of kids through a gun safety program and compared them to a group who had not gone through the program. Then they “tested” the kids by putting them in a situation where a gun was present. Half the kids still picked it up, and there was no difference between groups 😫

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Jude Jones (they/them)'s avatar

That’s so disappointing that there was no difference between groups. But all the more reason to get rid of guns!!!

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Feminist Science's avatar

Absolutely horrifying. I'm glad your family is okay. Grew up never having a gun in the house (and I have never seen one in real life). My mom was a nurse in the ER and saw plenty of people injured from gun violence. Once we grew up and my family members moved to rural areas they to my horror did a literal 180 and became gun owners. One family member accidently shot out a glass window in our house, fortunately nobody was hurt. Neighbors shoot off guns in the backyard, and I've asked my the one, doesn't that terrify you? That a stray bullet could ricochet and hurt someone? Plus they have dogs that escape and run around through the yards. But they work in law enforcement (where guns are glorified) and they have inlaws who hunt deer (and now going for black bears) and they don't EVEN see it is as a big deal. Plus, the game hunting is most certainly a PTSD trigger for the man who has violent night terrors. What is the psychology behind this?? It's sick.

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

It makes me nauseous every time I think of it. Your question of the psychology of gun-culture is an excellent one and I’m actually going to see what literature I can find on this. The people I know who became gun owners later in life, it was because of fear and feeling a need to defend themselves (from other people with guns ironically). But obviously in the US there’s a lot more to it.

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Kay M.'s avatar

Wow! I can’t believe it, this sounds like it was a very upsetting experience. As a mom, I feel your fear, nausea, disbelief, sorrow. I did not realize that Guns have been the leading cause of death among children in the last few years. My God.

This quote: “The victims are the children who do not get to feel safe. Safe in their schools, their homes, their neighborhood streets. Their ball fields.”

🙏🏻🥲

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Thanks for the kindness Kay. It’s such a challenging time to be a mother.

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Kay M.'s avatar

Indeed it is. We need each other more than ever before. Grateful for your friendship!

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Lindsey Kontovich's avatar

Goodness what a terrifying event when what should be a fun and playful and safe!!!! time. I’m so glad he is safe and the gun is gone. Thanks for sharing 🩷

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Thanks for reading Lindsey. It doesn’t quite feel real! So bizarre.

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Liya Marie's avatar

This is the top reason why I don’t live in the US. Every society has things they do/do not accept. I cannot accept this one. I refuse, refuse, refuse to send my child to school in a country that regularly experiences school shootings, with a government that does nothing about it, when I have other options.

I know, preaching to the choir. But you raised so many points that I would’ve here, when writing about this subject, and it’s nice to see that from an American. Were I to really go off, I’d further connect contemporary gun issues directly to late-stage capitalism. But I’d connect the overall societal willingness to tolerate and compartmentalize the violence to the legacy of slavery.

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Jo-Ann Finkelstein, PhD's avatar

Chills. This is so horrifying. There were two shootings outside my daughter’s school in March of students from the school. It is so depressing. I’m tired of feeling so helpless in the face of something with an easy solution.

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Jude Jones (they/them)'s avatar

This is so terrifying. I’m so glad your son was well “trained”, but like you said, it shouldn’t be up to a child to have to be the adult! I’ve never seen a gun either and I would have been completely shocked.

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