I hope sweet Penny is feeling better and so are you. You really touched on something here - the dissonance of wanting to care for her our pet and also not necessarily having the financial means to do so. There is so much guilt and shame associated with deciding if a procedure for our pet is “worth it.” We lost our dog almost two years ago. He was almost 17 and we knew when it was time to usher him to his next life. It was shockingly painful and my eyes well up now thinking about it. He was such a huge part of our family. Family members would often comment about him being in almost all photos we’d send of our kids. He was omnipresent. Thanks for sharing this. It reminds me of how sweet and special our relationships to our pets are and they’re not to be diminished. Sending love to sweet Buster, too. 🩷
Thank you Lindsey! She is doing great. I'm a bit of a mess, not gonna lie! But the heartache is totally worth it, pets bring me so much joy.
You hit the nail on the head, I had a difficult time even choosing my words correctly to convey the idea of the financial expense being "worth it"....i felt shame even in my experience of writing it. And yet it IS the reality that many families are making those considerations. So I wanted to vocalize that and hopefully make our collective experience a little less lonely.
I'm sorry to hear that your family lost a dog as well. 17 years is such an amazing life for a dog! He must have been very well-loved.
Thank you for this essay. My wonderful cocker spaniel Bruce is approaching his 14th birthday. He has arthritis but is otherwise doing really well. My anticipatory grief grows month by month. I know the day will come sooner than I want it to and I frequently wonder how I will cope with the decision when I need to make it. And I worry about the vet bills. Thank you for mentioning the finances and how guilt-inducing it can be to make this part of any decision about our pet’s wellbeing.
I felt this while reading it! As an only child growing up on a farm, animals were my best friends and part of my family. …Recently,. I had to euthanise one of our beloved guinea pigs, Brunhilda. The local vets would refused to try surgery due to her age and the high risk of her not surviving. I felt so powerless having to accept her fate, but I have some peace in the fact that she had a great life, was well loved and treated with dignity.
I have dealt with the loss of pets several times, and helped countless others deal with it. My pets are all special needs pets, sometimes they were very old when adopted, others younger, but none healthy.
‘Nursing homes for dogs,’ as you call it would be my heart-felt wish. A small-scale place for very old and/or terminal cats snd dogs.
I totally feel you and I hope the lovely Penny (and you) is feeling better 🙏🐾💙
What a vulnerable piece. Thank you for sharing from both the pet parent and psychologist point of views. Both are important to acknowledge and understand.
I hope sweet Penny is feeling better and so are you. You really touched on something here - the dissonance of wanting to care for her our pet and also not necessarily having the financial means to do so. There is so much guilt and shame associated with deciding if a procedure for our pet is “worth it.” We lost our dog almost two years ago. He was almost 17 and we knew when it was time to usher him to his next life. It was shockingly painful and my eyes well up now thinking about it. He was such a huge part of our family. Family members would often comment about him being in almost all photos we’d send of our kids. He was omnipresent. Thanks for sharing this. It reminds me of how sweet and special our relationships to our pets are and they’re not to be diminished. Sending love to sweet Buster, too. 🩷
Thank you Lindsey! She is doing great. I'm a bit of a mess, not gonna lie! But the heartache is totally worth it, pets bring me so much joy.
You hit the nail on the head, I had a difficult time even choosing my words correctly to convey the idea of the financial expense being "worth it"....i felt shame even in my experience of writing it. And yet it IS the reality that many families are making those considerations. So I wanted to vocalize that and hopefully make our collective experience a little less lonely.
I'm sorry to hear that your family lost a dog as well. 17 years is such an amazing life for a dog! He must have been very well-loved.
Thank you for reading and sharing <3
Thank you for this essay. My wonderful cocker spaniel Bruce is approaching his 14th birthday. He has arthritis but is otherwise doing really well. My anticipatory grief grows month by month. I know the day will come sooner than I want it to and I frequently wonder how I will cope with the decision when I need to make it. And I worry about the vet bills. Thank you for mentioning the finances and how guilt-inducing it can be to make this part of any decision about our pet’s wellbeing.
A beautiful wise essay, thank you Amber.
Sending healing wishes to Penny 🐾
I felt this while reading it! As an only child growing up on a farm, animals were my best friends and part of my family. …Recently,. I had to euthanise one of our beloved guinea pigs, Brunhilda. The local vets would refused to try surgery due to her age and the high risk of her not surviving. I felt so powerless having to accept her fate, but I have some peace in the fact that she had a great life, was well loved and treated with dignity.
I have dealt with the loss of pets several times, and helped countless others deal with it. My pets are all special needs pets, sometimes they were very old when adopted, others younger, but none healthy.
‘Nursing homes for dogs,’ as you call it would be my heart-felt wish. A small-scale place for very old and/or terminal cats snd dogs.
I totally feel you and I hope the lovely Penny (and you) is feeling better 🙏🐾💙
What a vulnerable piece. Thank you for sharing from both the pet parent and psychologist point of views. Both are important to acknowledge and understand.