22 Comments
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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

I think the whole world needs an anchor right now, but I'm especially thinking of you all over there in the US. This is a lovely, timely reminder Amber.

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

The whole world needs an anchor ❤️‍🩹 So true. Thank you Vicki!

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Joy V.'s avatar

I've been using a lot of ACT in my own life lately (and I'm a sucker for oceanic/boating metaphors) to deal with my loved one's severe alcohol addiction (and I even wrote about that using a lifeboat metaphor!). You're right that it's complicated when there's trauma (or recent grief), and it's even more complicated if we're on a Zoom call w/ our tactless boss, etc. I feel like I sometimes need a "pause" button -- I know I need to ride this out, but the timing is terrible.

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Hey Joy, thanks for bringing this up. I know it seems like this is something that can only be practiced when you can take some time to yourself and less useful in the middle of a work meeting! I think that’s true to an extent. If you check out the link to Act Mindfully, there is an audio there that shows what this looks like in less than a minute. I also encourage clients to practice new techniques when feeling calm, so that you are building up automaticity and the skill will be more accessible when the emotions are really overwhelming. Like practicing before a big game. But all that to say, I totally hear you that its not a perfect solution! And a loved ones addiction is definitely up there with some of the most intense and painful experiences that we can have ❤️ I think I’m subscribed to you, I will look for your lifeboat metaphor!

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Joy V.'s avatar

Oh thank you! I’ll look up that audio. My lifeboat post was titled “A Gulf So Wide.” (I also have a draft saved about SMART Recovery’s concept of being a lighthouse for your loved one.)

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

I was thinking about that SMART recovery lighthouse metaphor as well! It’s a great one.

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Willow Kean's avatar

I’ve been cold plunging as well! I’m a newbie to it, but had my first December dip in the North Atlantic a few weeks ago, and hoping to make it more of a regular thing. It’s raw nature at its best, and wakes me up to what’s important, if that makes sense.

It has indeed been a brutal January, but cooking helps, lots of baking, chatty suppers with the partner and kid, and taking extended breaks from social media is a godsend. Also been listening to lots of reggae! Just feels like a joyful escape. Thanks for this great post, it brought some comfort. ❤️

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

I love all those glimmers Willow! I’ve also found myself naturally using social media less. I check in sometime during the evening just to make sure I’m up to date, but much less scrolling. It helps.

Ok another vote for a cold plunge….hmm…

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Willow Kean's avatar

Do it! Start in summer to acclimatize and work your way up! Or down I guess 😉

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The Tao of Biscuits's avatar

Thank you for this!

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

You are very welcome! Thanks for reading and taking time to comment 😊

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Jennifer Rollin, LCSW-C's avatar

This is such a helpful skill for right now! I particularly love the audio, as it's an accessible way for folks to put it into practice. Will be sharing the article, it's such a great resource.

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When Freud Meets AI's avatar

Dear Amber, thank you! I enjoyed reading your article and listening to your calming voice. I find ACT and your presentation of the emotional anchor to be a wonderful way for clients to create mindful distance from what they experience.

Isn't it amazing to learn that we are not our thoughts? We can acknowledge that we experience fear, but we are so much more than our fear. Thank you for sharing this.

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you for reading! Yes, getting that distance from my own thoughts was life changing for me and I love helping other people get there too.

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Cindy Ojczyk's avatar

Thanks for the thoughtful descriptions. I didn't realize I had been dropping anchor as a way to diffuse my kids' anxiety and emotion. It certainly helps to show up for them as a less emotionally excited parent!

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Aly Prades's avatar

This was so helpful, thank you! I’ve never heard of dropping anchoring, but I am familiar with riding the waves of anxiety in OCD treatment.

Glimmers: I am actually enjoying winter/cold (it’s my first winter in North Idaho after moving from San Diego), and cold plunging in the lake has been an especially fun way to embrace the unique gifts of this cold season. ❄️

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you for sharing your glimmers! I reallllllly struggle with cold weather but oddly, cold plunging intrigues me! Maybe this is the year I try it 🥶🥶☃️

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Aly Prades's avatar

I used to hate cold weather, too, but cold plunging is a controlled/purposeful cold. I like to see it as a metaphor for embracing discomfort. You should go for it!

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Cindy Ojczyk's avatar

Enlightening article on the impact of the election on women's health!

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Amber Groomes,Ph.D. (she/her)'s avatar

Thank you Cindy! It’s an important topic so I wish I had more than 500 words!

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Cindy Ojczyk's avatar

The beauty is in the simplicity of the message.

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Sophie S.'s avatar

Oh I didn't know about this technique, thank you so much for sharing it and explaining it so clearly

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